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The Three "Cs" of a Successful Divorce
No one enters into a marriage expecting it to fail. Despite this, more than 20 percent of first-time marriages end in divorce within five years, with 48 percent finding their way to divorce court by the 20-year mark. Although divorce is emotional and can be a really difficult life change to get through, it is possible to have a relatively healthy breakup that does not leave all those involved feeling shattered and defeated.
While the words "successful" and "divorce" are rarely seen in the same sentence, some divorces are arguably better than others. When a relationship breaks down – especially when there are children involved – the fallout from a contentious, hate-filled divorce can do lasting damage.
Is Divorce Possible in IL if You Have a Common-Law Marriage?
As of 2022, only eight states still recognized common-law marriages (Colorado, DC, Texas, Iowa, Oklahoma, Kansas, Rhode Island, and Montana), while Utah and New Hampshire had "limited recognition" of common-law marriage. Common-law marriage has not been valid in Illinois since 1905, and while technically, Illinois law says common-law marriages from another state will be recognized, in practice, that is much less likely.
Common-law marriage from another state is unlikely to be recognized in Illinois without overwhelming evidence that it exists. Since that "overwhelming evidence" can be difficult to produce – even in a state that allows common-law marriages – a couple now living in Illinois may struggle to know how divorce works for a marriage that is not legally recognized in the state.
If you have a common-law marriage from another state and are now living in Illinois, it is extremely important that you speak to a knowledgeable Arlington Heights, IL family law attorney. Determining parenting time, spousal support, and the division of "marital" assets can be complex when the marriage may not be recognized as valid, and a strong legal advocate can make all the difference in the outcome.
What Are the Most Contentious Divorce Issues?
While every marriage is different, the three most contentious issues among those with children are finances, infidelity, and incompatibility/disagreements (many about raising children). For those with no children, finances are still a contentious issue, along with infidelity, incompatibility, and difficulty communicating with one another.
While every divorce is different, and each couple is unique in some way, there remain standard issues across the board that tend to be the most contentious. If you are considering divorce, speaking to a knowledgeable Rolling Meadows, IL family law attorney can be beneficial. The issues that you and your spouse will end up arguing about can go much smoother when you have a strong legal advocate by your side.
Why Finances Are So Difficult in Marriage
Unfortunately, few couples begin their marriage with realistic expectations regarding money. More than a fourth of all couples say money is their greatest relationship issue, largely due to disparate spending and saving habits and different expectations of how marital funds will be managed. If both spouses are working, differences in salaries may lead to resentment about how marital funds are spent. If the couple has vastly different long-term goals, like buying a home or saving for retirement, the arguments about money may increase over the years.
My Ex Wants to Move with My Child – Can I Stop Her?
So, you made it through your divorce and the allocation of parental responsibilities. You and your ex put together a parenting plan that seems to be working well. Your life, your child’s life, and your parenting relationship with your ex have all settled into a routine that is, for the most part, satisfying. Then, one day, seemingly out of left field, your ex-spouse tells you she plans on moving.
Not just to another city in Illinois but to another state that is a significant distance from where you live and work. Understandably, you are upset and perhaps even angry. You currently have liberal parenting time with your child and can see that changing drastically if this move occurs. What should you do?
Can you stop your ex from taking your child that far away? You need an experienced Rolling Meadows, IL family law attorney who knows the legalities of the situation and can guide you through the process once you have made a decision on what you will do.
Discovering Hidden Assets Years After a Divorce
According to one survey, almost 63 percent of the women who participated felt "strongly" that their husbands had hidden assets during the divorce process. This is a substantial number of divorced wives who believe they may have been cheated out of marital assets. Hiding assets can take many different forms, but it is never a good idea to be less than honest in the financial disclosure portion of a divorce.
Most people believe that once a divorce is over, it’s over, and nothing can be done about a bad financial agreement or failure to follow up on those gut feelings that said "he’s hiding assets." While this is true in many cases, there are certain situations where there can be recourse for a spouse who hid assets during the divorce. If you find yourself in a similar situation, it can be helpful to speak to an experienced Rolling Meadows, IL family law attorney.
Divorce Tax Issues Including the Innocent Spouse Doctrine
Certain tax benefits are associated with filing a joint tax return for a couple considering or in the midst of a divorce. This can cause a couple to hold off on a divorce until after the new year or otherwise plan a divorce around tax considerations. Unfortunately, just as one spouse may hide assets during the division of marital assets, the spouse who is responsible for filing tax returns could underreport income on behalf of one or both spouses.
The spouse who had nothing to do with the underreporting could find his or her own tax refunds withheld in the future to satisfy a former spouse’s tax obligations. Along with joint tax returns, there are a number of tax issues that must be considered during a divorce, including how certain assets will affect each spouse’s tax burden, as well as how a business division affects taxes.
If you are uncertain how the division of assets during your divorce will affect your taxes or the taxes of your spouse, it is important to speak to a tax professional and an experienced Arlington Heights, IL, family law attorney.
Divorcing a Toxic Spouse When You Are Financially Dependent
Divorce is rarely easy in any sense of the word. Even couples who agree on the divorce and on most issues are likely to have some emotional bumps and bruises during the process. Unfortunately, many women are faced with an untenable choice: stay in a toxic, even violent marriage or leave and face the likelihood of poverty.
While all breakups are tough, financial dependence can trap one spouse in a toxic, even abusive, relationship. Domestic violence is about control, and there is no better way to exercise control over another person than by limiting his or her economic well-being.
One study found that almost 73 percent of domestic abuse survivors stayed with an abusive partner for financial reasons. At least half stayed at least two years longer than they wanted to because they lacked financial resources. If you are facing a divorce with limited financial resources, consider talking to an experienced Arlington Heights, IL family law attorney from Law Offices of Donald J. Cosley.
How Financial Infidelity in a Marriage Complicates Divorce
Financial infidelity is a term used to describe how married couples with combined finances may be less than truthful with one another regarding how marital funds are spent. For example, one partner may be hiding significant debt from the other, or one may be making large expenditures without discussing them with the other spouse. Financial infidelity naturally creates tension and distrust in a marriage and is often at least one of the reasons for divorce.
In one study, 54 percent of the spouses said if they found out their partner had taken on significant debt without their knowledge, divorce would be their first reaction. Excessive spending and lying about spending and debt are often symptoms of deeper issues in marriage, making money worries are one of the most common reasons for a divorce. If you are facing divorce, it is important that you have an Arlington Heights, IL divorce attorney who is a strong legal advocate on your behalf.
How Is Divorcing a Narcissist Different?
Although there are many "professional" definitions of a narcissist, anyone who has been in a relationship with a narcissist knows more than he or she wants to know about this particular personality type. While being married to a narcissist can range from challenging to traumatic, divorcing a narcissist is often an outright nightmare.
The narcissistic spouse will often attempt to drag out a divorce for the longest amount of time possible. This spouse is unlikely to care about his or her own additional divorce-related expenses so long as the other spouse is being "punished" for the divorce. Narcissistic spouses are also likely to use every tactic available to turn friends, family members, and even the other spouse’s own divorce attorney against him or her.
The best defense against a narcissistic spouse during divorce is to be fully prepared for every potential situation. Perhaps one of the most important steps you can take is to hire a highly experienced Arlington Heights, IL divorce attorney who has a good understanding of how to deal with a narcissist.
Obtaining or Restricting a Child’s Passport During Divorce
Parents who are involved in a contentious allocation of parental responsibilities may worry that the other parent could take the child out of the country. This is particularly true when one parent has citizenship in another country, and the other fears an attempt at child abduction. If you are in this situation, it is crucial that you have a solid understanding of Illinois passport guidelines for children.
Since the U.S. passport system is federal and administered by the State Department, the allocation of parental responsibilities is determined under Illinois state statute. Thanks to the intersection of federal, state, and even international law, issues with child passports can get complicated.
Knowing that you have the law on your side can be a comfort. Speaking to a knowledgeable Arlington Heights, IL family law attorney from Law Offices of Donald J. Cosley can give you further information regarding a potential child abduction.
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