The Three "Cs" of a Successful Divorce

 Posted on March 06, 2025 in Divorce

No one enters into a marriage expecting it to fail. Despite this, more than 20 percent of first-time marriages end in divorce within five years, with 48 percent finding their way to divorce court by the 20-year mark. Although divorce is emotional and can be a really difficult life change to get through, it is possible to have a relatively healthy breakup that does not leave all those involved feeling shattered and defeated.

While the words "successful" and "divorce" are rarely seen in the same sentence, some divorces are arguably better than others. When a relationship breaks down – especially when there are children involved – the fallout from a contentious, hate-filled divorce can do lasting damage.

When spouses make a conscious effort to divorce while remaining civil to one another, the divorce can be considered more "successful" than not. If you are facing a divorce, it can be beneficial to speak to an experienced Arlington Heights, IL family law attorney.

The First "C" of Divorce – Communication

Ironically, communication – or lack of communication – is one of the top three reasons for divorce. If lack of communication contributed to your divorce, it may be hard to believe that you will now be able to communicate with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. Think of it as the last hurrah of the season when you want to go out on the best note possible.

Whether or not you and your spouse have ever been good communicators, now is your chance to have a different way of dealing with one another, especially when there are children involved. If you have to deal with your ex for a very long time because of the children, setting the stage right now for communication between the two of you can really make a difference in the lives of your children and in your own.

Even if you have no children, do you really want to end your marriage with anger and resentment, or do you want to move on with your future without those toxic emotions holding you down? It is equally important that you communicate with your children on their level. Children need substantial amounts of reassurance during a divorce. They need to know that both parents still love them, that the divorce is not their fault, and that the adults are in charge.   

The Second "C" of Divorce – Cooperation

If you and your ex have rarely been able to communicate, then it is likely that cooperation is also not in your wheelhouse. And, realistically, cooperating with your ex might actually be the very last thing you want to do. However, when you must work with one another to co-parent your children, cooperation can be vitally important.

There will be plenty of times when life and children’s schedules do not go as planned. Rather than exploding in a fit of rage when your ex asks (again) if he can change days with you, do your best to be flexible and cooperative for the sake of the children – and to keep your own sanity.

A forgotten book bag or an unexpected meeting at work does not have to derail your day or your week. Cooperation can really make a difference in your life, and cooperation generally begets cooperation, so you are likely to see your ex being more cooperative as well.   

The Third "C" of Divorce – Compromise

Every successful agreement across the globe includes some measure of compromise. If you go into divorce discussions knowing you are unlikely to get everything you want, then a compromise seems more like a cooperative agreement and less like you did not get what you wanted.

Before discussing divorce-related issues with your spouse, talk with your attorney about what you are and are not willing to compromise on. Be willing to give in on things that are not as important to you to get the things that are important to you.

Contact a Rolling Meadows, IL Divorce Lawyer

If you want your divorce to be different than your marriage, speak to a knowledgeable Arlington Heights, IL divorce attorney from Law Offices of Donald J. Cosley. Attorney Cosley personally handles every aspect of his cases. If you have questions about your case, you will speak with him personally rather than being passed off to a paralegal or subordinate. Call 847-253-3100 to schedule your free consultation.