How to Make the Divorce Process Easier on Your Children

 Posted on February 14, 2020 in Divorce

If you are a parent and you have decided to end your marriage, you may have concerns about how the divorce will affect your children. Divorce can be hard for children to cope with, but studies shows that children with divorced parents can still lead happy, successful lives. In fact, being exposed to parents who are obviously miserable being married to each other may be worse for children’s well-being than the parents getting divorced. Divorce is a stressful ordeal, but fortunately, a great deal of research has been done regarding how to best help children cope with divorce.

Keep Grown-Up Conversations Away from the Kids

Even if children do not seem like they are paying attention, kids pick up on a surprising amount of adult hostility. Avoid talking about divorce-related issues like child custody disputes, property division concerns, or spousal maintenance arguments when your children are present. Being exposed to heated discussions such as these can make children very anxious and upset. Constant exposure to their parents’ arguing can also lead to social and academic problems. Furthermore, avoid bad-talking your soon-to-be-ex spouse in front of the children. Hearing negative things about the other parent, even if they are true, can make the children feel like they have to choose sides.

Remind Your Children That Their Feelings are Valid

Children can have a range of reactions to their parents’ divorce. Some may cry and show obvious outward signs of sadness. Others will get angry and yell. Still others will shut down and refuse to talk about how they feel. In some cases, children will experience a variety of emotions at different times. It is important to remain patient and remind the children that it is okay to be upset. Remind them that you still love them and that things are going to get better.

Maintain Consistency Whenever Possible

Going from a one-home family to a two-home family can be a hard transition for many children to make. In order to avoid overwhelming the children with too many changes at once, try to maintain consistency whenever possible. If your children participated in certain after-school activities, for example, allow them to continue these activities. Although you may feel tempted to spoil the children during this difficult time by relaxing household rules or forgoing bedtimes, experts say that this actually harms children more than it helps.

Contact a Rolling Meadows Family Law Attorney

At Cosley Law Office, we know how hard it can be to end a marriage when you and your spouse share children. For help with allocating parental responsibilities and parenting time, child support, and other divorce-related concerns, contact an experienced Arlington Heights divorce lawyer from our firm. Call our office at 847-253-3100 and schedule a free confidential consultation today.

Sources:

https://www.webmd.com/parenting/news/20000801/when-divorce-is-best-for-children#1

https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/help-child-divorce.html