Helping Your Children Manage Your Divorce

 Posted on April 07, 2017 in Children of Divorce

A divorce is almost always incredibly stressful for everyone involved. Young children, however, often experience the most serious challenges adjusting to all of the changes. A divorce can also affect a child for years to come after the final decree is entered. There are a number of things that you can do as a parent can help your child manage the reality of your divorce.

Listen to Their Concerns and Problems

As with adults, children feel most loved and cared for if they feel that that their parents are listening to them. This is more than just letting them talk. Listening means that you must show you understand what they are worried about and refrain from expressing judgment. While you may be able to offer solutions, your children should not be made to feel guilty about their thoughts and feelings.

Find Someone to Help You

You may feel like you are doing well, but a divorce can wear you down. It is easy to vent to your children and to give more them more information than they know how to handle. This kind of venting can confuse children, make them feel anxious, and can harm their relationship with the other parent. If you need to speak with someone, find a trusted friend or a professional counselor. Be sure to have such conversations away from your children. Doing so will likely give you more patience with your children and can help you manage your stress level.

Cooperate With the Other Parent

One of the best things that divorcing parents can do for their children is to cooperate on parenting decisions whenever possible. This means being flexible and keeping communication lines open when it comes to the children. It may even require you to swallow your pride and make peace with your ex. If speaking to your former spouse is too stressful, use text messages, email, or another form of written communication. While you may be getting a divorce, the two of you will always be the parents of your children. Your children should be able to count on you both.

Encourage Your Children to Spend Time With the Other Parent

Part of your job as a parent is to make sure your children continue to have a healthy relationship with the other parent. If your child feels guilty for “leaving you by yourself” when they are gone or sense that their spending time with the other parent bothers you, mental and emotional issues can quickly develop. Your child could feel that they are being forced to choose between their parents—a situation you should always try to avoid.

Speak to an Attorney

If you have questions about allocation of parental responsibilities, parenting time, or any other divorce issue, contact an experienced family law attorney in Rolling Meadows. Call 847-253-3100 for a free consultation at Cosley Law Office today.

Sources:

http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs4.asp?ActID=2086&ChapterID=59&SeqStart=8300000&SeqEnd=10000000

http://www.parents.com/parenting/divorce/coping/helping-child-deal-with-divorce/