3 Divorce Tips for Parents of Teenagers

 Posted on September 19, 2022 in Divorce

Much of the advice you can find online for parents who are getting divorced tends to pertain to younger children. As parents with teenagers know, what works in parenting a young child is very different from what works in parenting a high school student. Teenagers may be affected by divorce in different ways compared to an elementary school-aged child. While there are some similarities in the ways that younger children and teenagers may react–for example, both may “act out” and get in trouble–these reactions generally cannot be addressed in identical fashions. While a young child may not need to be told why the divorce is happening, a teenager has likely already noticed the problems. It can be complicated for parents who have both teenage children and younger children to manage both children’s emotional needs in an age-appropriate fashion. An attorney may be able to advise you on when and how a teenager should become involved in any legal proceedings.

Helpful Parenting Ideas for Meeting a Teenager’s Needs During Divorce

While teenagers may not show it quite so much, divorce usually does affect them in a major way. Some tips for parents of teenagers who are getting divorced include: 

• Know their awareness level - A child who is 5 years old probably does not know what an affair is. A 16-year-old may have known for months if one of their parents is having one. You may want to talk to your teenager to find out how much they already know. Trying to cover things up instead of openly discussing them can drive a bigger wedge between a teenager and their parents. 

• Get their input - Even if your child is nearly an adult, you will still need a parenting plan that determines when the teenager will spend time with each parent. If you are using collaborative divorce tactics like mediation, it may help to ask for the teenager’s input. This does not mean letting the teenager set their own custody schedule, but taking their wishes into consideration can make them feel in-control and respected. If you litigate your divorce, the court will consider the teenager’s wishes among other factors. 

• Counseling - Individual counseling can give your teenager a safe space to work through their emotions. It can also be helpful for a teenager to have joint counseling sessions with each parent, or if this is an amicable divorce, even both parents. A trained counselor can facilitate open and honest communication between divorcing parents and their teenage children. 

Every teenager reacts to news of their parents’ divorce differently. The important thing is to meet your teenager where they are and start there. 

Call an Illinois Divorce Attorney

Law Offices of Donald J. Cosley is experienced in helping parents with children of all ages get divorced. Our Rolling Meadows divorce lawyers’ goal will be to get you and your children through these proceedings as smoothly as possible while protecting your interests. Call 847-253-3100 for a free consultation. 

Source: 

https://www.verywellfamily.com/effects-of-divorce-on-teens-2609530